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Atheists Promise to Care for Pets After Rapture

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 1:37 am
Absolute genius

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, and Georgia.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

Please visit our FAQS page

{Note: A portion of income generated from advertising on this site is contributed to community food shelves / food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire}

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:01 am
by Blonde leading the blonde
That's super awesome!

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:17 pm
by Born in a Casket
oh dear.

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 8:21 pm
by wadruid
I think that's the greatest thing I've ever seen!!

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:45 pm
by soundguy
Capitalism, taking money from stupid people for ten thousand years :D

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:52 am
by derek666
this rules