Watching Headbanger's Ball is a little like...
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:06 am
...getting bombarded with poseur propaganda!
I recorded the rerun of last Saturday’s HBB since Dragonforce was going to be in the studio, and I watched at least part of every video they played. Surprise surprise, part of it was cool but the majority of it was incredibly lame. Here’s my take on all the featured bands:
All That Remains – Those clean vocals have got to go. These guys pretty much epitomize everything I dislike about modern metal. But I can say that about a lot of bands.
Agnostic Front – not my cup of tea, and their singer is just awful, but they get 1 point for being originals.
Iron Maiden – “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”. Overly long song, but not bad. There may be hope for Maiden after all.
Iced Earth – “The Reckoning”. Great track, great band. Remember when Richard Christy was a drummer instead of Howard Stern’s whipping boy?
Unearth – All That Remains minus the terrible clean vocals. Fast parts = good. Ultra-lame hardcore breakdowns = bad.
Eyes of Fire – One of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life. It sounds like a camel being anally raped with a spiked baseball bat.
Dragonforce – “Through the Fire and the Flames”. Blistering song, amazing band, and a great video. Dragonforce is a light in the darkness.
Eighteen Visions – Did I say Eyes of Fire was one of the worst things I ever heard? Well, this is pretty close.
Lamb of God – and the crap just keeps rolling in. Why this band is so popular (relatively) is a mystery to me. It’s like they’re trying to suck! Uninspired riffing, bland vocals, totally lifeless. They’re the complete package. Of crap.
Cryptopsy – They finally managed to get a decent sound, just in time for the music to really suck. What the hell is so special about Lord Worm? He sounded fine back in the day but here he is upstaged by his guitarist’s vocals. Cool video though.
Inked In Blood – hardcore is not metal.
Bullet For My Valentine – bullet for my head, please.
Satyricon – That’s Satyricon??? I read somewhere they were a black metal band?! (sarcasm, yes I’ve heard their older stuff) Almost as gay as the Bullet For My Valentine song.
Priestess – wish you were Motorhead much?
Manowar – “Blow Your Speakers”. Other bands play, MANOWAR KILL!!!!!!!
Through the Eyes of the Dead – an obvious Cannibal Corpse reference wasted on a talentless bunch of metalcore hacks. And if I see one more singer holding the mic sideways I’m gonna barf. Hey genius, it’s not a harmonica, it’s meant to be sung into the tip of it not the side! Bands like this infuriate me.
Artimus Pyledriver – Their singer is quite possibly the most annoying, distracting vocalist in existence. What I said about Eyes of Fire? Apply that here as well.
And the first post-HBB video by Hawthorne Heights would sadly have fit right in, sandwiched between Bullet For My Valentine and Lamb of God. Absolutely pathetic. Now granted, towards the end of the Rikki Rachtman era they were playing some pretty weak stuff, and there were hair metal bands in the 80s HBB, so they haven’t always stuck with the ‘most metal’ stuff, but I’ll take Cinderella over any of these crummy bands anyday. Hell, I’d prefer Pearl Jam. So what’s the score? Out of 2 hours (which they couldn’t get through more than 2 videos before going to a commercial) and 16 videos there are 4 I would deem as good. Now granted these are just my opinions, so if you like Unearth or All That Remains go about your business and don’t let little ol’ me rattle you, but seriously this is crap must end. Call your congressman, boycott Roadrunner Records, something must be done!
I recorded the rerun of last Saturday’s HBB since Dragonforce was going to be in the studio, and I watched at least part of every video they played. Surprise surprise, part of it was cool but the majority of it was incredibly lame. Here’s my take on all the featured bands:
All That Remains – Those clean vocals have got to go. These guys pretty much epitomize everything I dislike about modern metal. But I can say that about a lot of bands.
Agnostic Front – not my cup of tea, and their singer is just awful, but they get 1 point for being originals.
Iron Maiden – “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”. Overly long song, but not bad. There may be hope for Maiden after all.
Iced Earth – “The Reckoning”. Great track, great band. Remember when Richard Christy was a drummer instead of Howard Stern’s whipping boy?
Unearth – All That Remains minus the terrible clean vocals. Fast parts = good. Ultra-lame hardcore breakdowns = bad.
Eyes of Fire – One of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life. It sounds like a camel being anally raped with a spiked baseball bat.
Dragonforce – “Through the Fire and the Flames”. Blistering song, amazing band, and a great video. Dragonforce is a light in the darkness.
Eighteen Visions – Did I say Eyes of Fire was one of the worst things I ever heard? Well, this is pretty close.
Lamb of God – and the crap just keeps rolling in. Why this band is so popular (relatively) is a mystery to me. It’s like they’re trying to suck! Uninspired riffing, bland vocals, totally lifeless. They’re the complete package. Of crap.
Cryptopsy – They finally managed to get a decent sound, just in time for the music to really suck. What the hell is so special about Lord Worm? He sounded fine back in the day but here he is upstaged by his guitarist’s vocals. Cool video though.
Inked In Blood – hardcore is not metal.
Bullet For My Valentine – bullet for my head, please.
Satyricon – That’s Satyricon??? I read somewhere they were a black metal band?! (sarcasm, yes I’ve heard their older stuff) Almost as gay as the Bullet For My Valentine song.
Priestess – wish you were Motorhead much?
Manowar – “Blow Your Speakers”. Other bands play, MANOWAR KILL!!!!!!!
Through the Eyes of the Dead – an obvious Cannibal Corpse reference wasted on a talentless bunch of metalcore hacks. And if I see one more singer holding the mic sideways I’m gonna barf. Hey genius, it’s not a harmonica, it’s meant to be sung into the tip of it not the side! Bands like this infuriate me.
Artimus Pyledriver – Their singer is quite possibly the most annoying, distracting vocalist in existence. What I said about Eyes of Fire? Apply that here as well.
And the first post-HBB video by Hawthorne Heights would sadly have fit right in, sandwiched between Bullet For My Valentine and Lamb of God. Absolutely pathetic. Now granted, towards the end of the Rikki Rachtman era they were playing some pretty weak stuff, and there were hair metal bands in the 80s HBB, so they haven’t always stuck with the ‘most metal’ stuff, but I’ll take Cinderella over any of these crummy bands anyday. Hell, I’d prefer Pearl Jam. So what’s the score? Out of 2 hours (which they couldn’t get through more than 2 videos before going to a commercial) and 16 videos there are 4 I would deem as good. Now granted these are just my opinions, so if you like Unearth or All That Remains go about your business and don’t let little ol’ me rattle you, but seriously this is crap must end. Call your congressman, boycott Roadrunner Records, something must be done!