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why is Alien vs predator PG-13

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 9:50 pm
by shawn porter
DESPITE PAUL ANDERSON I WAS REALLY LOOKING FOWARD TO THIS MOVIE, besides i enjoyed the ones before it to some degree so why the fuck is this movie PG-13? please someone tell me, my only idea other than Paul just fucked it up, or all the violence in the movie is on the two monsters and not humans? but i doubt that. oh and now i'm not seeing it in theatres, unless mass people say it's decent, people i trust.

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 10:25 pm
by MattV
No fucking shit, I wanna see Predator Skin some mother fuckers and I wanna see Alien chomp some assholes brains out, if any of these things are missing, I will personally go to this asshole directers house and bitch slap him in front of his kids!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 10:53 pm
by MattV
I'm sorry I've got more,.
Why are they trying to appeal this movie to teenage mtv watching mallrats, when all the real Aliens vs. Predator fans who bought the fucking comics back in the late 80's and early 90's are all 21+. just pisses me off! I want my alien vs predator to be a serious fucking bloodbath filled with all the things that made Aliens Vs. Predator cool, not some watered down CG fest for teenagers and poseurs. As a devote Aliens and Predator fan i am already pissed of at this movie, I'm probably going to be even more pissed when I see the soundtrack at walmart! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!:mad:

-sorry for all the bitching

Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 11:19 am
by shawn
Originally posted by MattV
No fucking shit, I wanna see Predator Skin some mother fuckers and I wanna see Alien chomp some assholes brains out, if any of these things are missing, I will personally go to this asshole directers house and bitch slap him in front of his kids!



While you bitch slap him I'll ram a broom handle up his ass; with no lube. Then I'll make his kids lick it clean.

This guy is a fucking DICK. I am so pissed about this shit! How the fuck can this be pg 13??? Both Aliens and Predator series are adult natured, violent and gory, what the fuck are the studio's thinking? And where is Paul Anderson's limey ass now? He needs to show his face and answer for this shit. He is a fucking liar and all the interviews I've read he said it was going to be R. Fuck him....

Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 1:03 pm
by shawn porter
the dude ruins just about any movie he gets his hands on, i must say event horizon was OK but mortal kombat, come on that was horrible and of course he managed to fuck up what could of been one of the most solid horror movie franchises going, resident evil and now this
FUCK!!

Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 1:22 am
by stypees back
Someone finally agrees with me on RESIDENT EVIL, I hated that film. It was a worthless piece of shit. Anderson had no clue how to work the low budget, hell, I'd give HOUSE OF THE DEAD more props than that. Whose doing the sequel for this one?

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR has to be a stupid decision by the studio. I'm not backing up Anderson because I'm not really into his work. I'll agree with you on EVENT HORIZON that was some pretty good shit. Other than that it's just all crap.

This concept has been lingering around for ages at one point ROBERT RODRIGUEZ had some script ideas and wanted to direct, that would have been great and he would have fought for that R.

I'm not remotely interested in seeing this film at all anymore. I never thought I could lose excitement over wanting to see a movie, this one is dead to me now. The only way they can save it is an UNRATED version on DVD. At least grow some balls like Universal did.

Everything sucks major ass.

Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 11:15 am
by shawn porter
yeah they could have an unrated version, but by the sound of it, they didint cut anything from the movie, like perhaps it was the ulterior motive the whole time for this film to be a teen horror flick, and that hurts me to say it, the new director for resident evil 2 is Alexander witt i think, and hes a cherry at that, though he does have some impressive work under his belt as a second unit director and cinematographer. but paul anderson is the producer and even worse the screenwriter, so i am thinking he'll do all he can to further crush that franchise.

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:54 pm
by Griff [Mola]
Prediction: this movie is gonna suck many dicks but will have just as many apologists. You heard it here first, folks - many dicks, many apologists. Lay your bets.

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:33 pm
by jga5000
I read somewhere that the movie was originally over 2 hours but it's 80 minute in theaters, hopefully there are people getting impaled on the unrated version if it ever comes out. Although the same was said about that shit titled Resident Evil.

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 4:22 pm
by shawn porter
see, i didint hear about the original run time, that would be better, but like you said im sure its just the same as RE

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:22 pm
by Paul - Static Bloom
Originally posted by Griff [Mola]
Prediction: this movie is gonna suck many dicks but will have just as many apologists. You heard it here first, folks - many dicks, many apologists. Lay your bets.


You beat me to it, it will most likely be a let down. Wes Paul Anderson has great visual ideas and shitty plots/movies. That's what we'll get. And with a PG-13 rating, I'll definitely have low expectations for what could have been an amazing movie. :mad:

paul w.s. anderson and uwe boll

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 11:59 am
by Scott
No doubt about it. Anderson fits right alongside Uwe Boll when it comes to royally fucking things up. AVP a Pg-13 movie? What the hell was he thinking?

Actually, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Anderson had a darker R rated version ready to go, but the white collar assholes who foot the bill had him tailor the film to their specifications.

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:02 pm
by I am 138
Maybe. But in the RE commentary, he was saying he'd pushed the gore level to a nigh NC-17. First, there SHOULD'VE been an NC-17 cut, and second, there was hardly any gore.

PG-13 may have been in his contract, though.

Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2004 12:26 pm
by shawn porter
yep as far as RE goes that was one of the tamest R rated movies i've seen in recent memory, he's the director of these movie, i place the blame on him, if i were him and they asked me to do AVP then they told me, we want this to be PG-13 i would say no find someone else to ruin there reputation over this movie, but paul see he has already done that, and thats why he got the job.

Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2004 8:32 pm
by Bloodiah
AVP=GAY! Worse than Alien:Resurrection. Horrid, wayyyyy too much pointless dialogue.

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 1:54 am
by stypees back
Okay, so, who went to go see it?

Fess up.. Let us know.. How was it?

Hey, if I'm admitting to checking out the new EXORCIST movie than someone can admit to seeing this..

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:48 am
by Bloodiah
I saw it, see review above.

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 4:46 pm
by Paul - Static Bloom
Originally posted by Bloodiah
AVP=GAY! Worse than Alien:Resurrection. Horrid, wayyyyy too much pointless dialogue.


It started out great and I was enjoying it for a while there, and then this one scene comes around involving the main character and the predator bonding. Oh boy, you know it when the whole audience starts laughing and gagging it's not good. From that point on, it seems to just get worse and become a laughable dissapointment. too bad.

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 3:11 pm
by Remo D
"When the hunters lost, they made sure nothing survived. An entire civilization wiped out overnight."

Yeah? Then who carved those hieroglyphics?

You know what ALIEN VS. PREDATOR is? In many ways, it's the cinematic equivalent of the PLANET OF THE APES TV series. Now, that show could not possibly have taken place in the same world as the movie series, right? It was set in a different time, it took place in a world in which all humans could speak--and in which cats and dogs survived. And yeah, there was a character called "Dr. Zaius," but he lived on the West Coast hundreds of years before the Maurice Evans character would have existed.

So. Not the same world. Fresh start for a new series.

The fact that ALIEN VS. PREDATOR takes place in the year 2004 basically puts the scotch on anything that happened in the ALIEN movies (uh, remember that the mysterious life form was NEW to the Company of the future, etc.?)--and I don't think it sits too well with the PREDATOR films, either, though that's a far lesser issue as I see it. And yeah, there was a character named "Bishop Weyland," or "Weyland Bishop," or whatever, and he's played by Lance Henriksen, but he couldn't possibly be the same guy who served as a model for an "artificial person" later on.

So. Not the same world. Fresh start for the new series.

Here's the difference.

The PLANET OF THE APES TV series remained enjoyable on its own terms, even though it was never a match for the theatrical series.

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR sucks frog come off a donkey's dick.

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 5:59 pm
by Griff [Mola]
Originally posted by Remo D
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR sucks frog come off a donkey's dick.


Testing the water on this review for Video Watchdog, Remo?

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:04 pm
by Remo D
Testing the water on this review for Video Watchdog, Remo?


Hmmm... not a bad idea. After all, I DID review the entire PLANET OF THE APES TV series for them! Take that ball and run with it...

Ya know, there's a time to be formal. And there's a time to speak from the gut. And watching someone who made your favorite horror film ONE year make a champion stink bomb (like when William Malone followed HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL up with FEARDOTCOM) ANOTHER year... well... and when your two previous movie experiences have been THE VILLAGE and CATWOMAN... and when you just KNOW there's better stuff out there but you've taken it upon yourself to be a genre completist... and when you've been wanting to use the phrase "frog come" in SOME review, SOMEWHERE... then the elements just sort of fall into place, and references to the genitals of farm animals see the light of welcome in an arena that doesn't sweat the specifics.

Now, mix THE VILLAGE with ALIEN VS. PREDATOR. All of a sudden, you've got one HELL of a movie. If "Those of whom we do not speak" wore cloaking devices and threw razor frisbees and put you in the range of face-huggers... HOE-DOWN!!!!

So tired of this year. Want it to end.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 9:53 am
by I am 138
Don't give up now, Remo, the best is yet to come:

RE 2

Anaconda: Blood ORchid Hunting in a Jungle

Exorcist IV

and if none of those interest you, Open Water opens wide on Friday. That is going to be GREAT. It's the first movie in years that I'm excited over. So, even if it sucks, I'll be in denial afterwards.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:50 pm
by Latte Thunder
Originally posted by Remo D
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR sucks frog come off a donkey's dick.
Jeez, Reem. For a second I thought I was reading a Shawn review. I think that's the worst I've ever seen you call a movie.

I thought this movie looked fucking retarded from the start. All the AvP comics I ever read were great, but at no point did I ever get excited about this movie. You just knew they were going to fuck it up and bad omen numero uno was attaching Paul Anderson to the staff. He's a hack, a film making anomaly. He's one of those guys who cranks out cinema turds one after another and still manages to get decent budgets. Everyone usually jumps to his defense with, "Well, Event Horizon was good." That's really up to debate, if you ask me. He sucks ass and will never make a decent movie. The end.

And I didn't see the movie. I have no plans to. Fuck that movie in the ass.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 7:55 pm
by DylanDog
Originally posted by I am 138
So, even if it sucks, I'll be in denial afterwards.


You mean just like with Bad Taste?!

ZING! :D

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 9:27 pm
by Remo D
Everyone usually jumps to his defense with, "Well, Event Horizon was good." That's really up to debate, if you ask me.


I stand by THAT movie. Several times, over the years, I've broken EVENT HORIZON out again to see if I was off-base or too easily impressed. Nope. It still works for me just fine. Of course, sometimes I wonder if Anderson really deserves the credit for it, all things considered.

But no impression of previous work will affect my reaction to what I've got in front of me. Didn't save Malone, won't save Anderson.

To put things in perspective, ALIEN VS. PREDATOR is still a bit better than HOUSE OF THE DEAD. Which is saying almost nothing, because FREDDY VS. JASON is still better than ALIEN VS. PREDATOR. There WERE a couple of amusing bits, and 20th even ponied up a bit to Universal just so they could start things off with a clip from FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN on somebody's monitor. You know, as in, "See, WE didn't invent the monster matchups! We're honoring a long tradition!"

As far as my uncharacteristically (?) venomous swipe at AvP... I'm just sick and tired of mindless crap--especially when it comes from people I happen to think are capable of so much better. That's twice in a row now (CATWOMAN doesn't count because I didn't expect beans from "Pitof").

If it's brainless fun I want, I'll wait for the ANACONDA sequel. Somehow, I think I'll get more bang for my buck from that one simply because it isn't a step down from what the concept USED to be.

Chow for now.