Predators

Horrornews is a discussion forum for true horror fans to discuss the more obscure areas of the horror/cult/exploitation film genre as well as current theatrical horror.

Moderator: Chris Slack

Post Reply
User avatar
Remo D
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2000 10:00 pm
Location: Marina, CA U.S.A.
Contact:

Predators

Post by Remo D » Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:23 am

Well, I'm genuinely stunned... I didn't think it was possible for a PREDATOR movie to be this utterly DULL... or that the director of VACANCY could pull off such a feat. I am, in fact, overwhelmed by how truly AWFUL this film was.

Okay, let's bring the record up to date. I believe I enjoyed the '87 Schwarzenegger original as much as anyone did. And to be completely honest, I didn't have a problem with the Danny Glover sequel, either (though I barely remember it, I do recall that the final showdown sequence was very entertaining). As for the AVP films? I didn't care for the first one much at all, but that had more to do with its "to hell with it" continuity with the proper ALIEN series than any objection to what the Predators were doing... and REQUIEM was fast-paced, gory as hell and perfectly enjoyable in its own way.

What we have here is a belated sequel to the original, which is directly invoked by a character who recaps what happened back in '87 (P2 and the AVPs most likely "didn't happen" in this case). And as you all know, it's a motley crew of soldiers, mercenaries and oddballs who get plucked out of their Earth lives (we don't see any of this happen) and plonked together to see how they handle the Predator game preserve.

Oh, such characters. Not one, but two are "ethnic types" who say "In my country, I have done such things." (Oh, what a waste of Danny Trejo!) We've got a Japanese swordsman just so there can be a Japanese swordfight somewhere. We've got the "odd man out" (the doctor who "doesn't belong" with the group but can helpfully identify toxic plants on an alien world... MAKE A NOTE OF THAT! MAKE A NOTE OF THAT!). The "criminal type" plucked from death row. Etc.

Alice Braga is fine as the obligatory female (not that her character is especially challenging, either). And then you get Adrien Brody. Here's where I waver a bit. On the one hand, he obviously enjoyed his chance to play against type as "Action Man" (with a mysterious past and dark secrets, natch), and he certainly knows how to command the screen. The curiosity value is almost enough... but in the end, he's overqualified. PREDATORS doesn't need Adrien Brody when it could have used Vin Diesel just as effectively. (Oh, and that bit in the trailer where about a dozen Predator laser-sights hit him at the same time? That's not actually in the film.)

You can't believe that a cast like this is going to be content to slog through a swamp of cliches you've already sat through countless times, but that's exactly what they do. Laurence Fishburne raises hopes when he makes his entrance, but be warned... it's a setup for one of the most dreary, mind-numbingly deadly stretches of pure exposition you've ever endured. Everybody gets knocked off in pretty much the exact order you expect them to, everybody's got the inexhaustible ammo supply found only in the movies (sure, they SAY they need to conserve it, but it never actually becomes a crucial concern), and every time somebody threatens to do something interesting, its blown off in the most superficial manner imaginable (like the would-be-twist near the end that MIGHT have paid off had the writers actually DONE anything worthwhile with it).

There's nothing whatsoever special or impressive about the effects, the gore or the (frankly ugly) photography, but I'll give credit where credit's due for the design of the primary Predator--the film ONLY threatens to come alive when the creatures are in actual combat (you know--real ACTION?).

The best thing about this movie? The trailers for SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (looks like a sheer riot from Edgar Wright) and the truly awesome-looking MACHETE. But I'm not sure what Robert Rodriguez contributed to PREDATORS outside of Danny Trejo; and while I shouldn't be surprised when it comes to summer movies, I don't think I've ever seen such godawful, lazy screenwriting (was this a first draft or a cocktail conversation???) accepted by a cast and director who REALLY ought to have known better.

In one word? INEXCUSABLE.
My dog's breath smells like peanut butter...

...and I don't even have a dog!


User avatar
Darth Tanner
Posts: 496
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 1999 10:00 pm
Location: Midlothian, VA U.S.A

Post by Darth Tanner » Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:25 pm

Really that bad, Remo? I was looking forward to this one and was hoping it would deliver with Rodriguez being involved (I was one of the few people on here that actually didn't mind THE FACULTY). I got some "movie cash" towards this when I picked up the new PREDATOR Blu-Ray so at least it wont cost me anything to see it.

I'm glad to hear that MACHETE is finally going to happen and I look forward to checking out that trailer. Hopefully it will kick serious ass and give a much needed career turnaround for a certain starlet who is said to be apprearing in it:) Now if we can just get them to release the theatrical cut of GRINDHOUSE on DVD/Blu-Ray I'd be a happy camper.
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the heavens. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and so... I am a God." - Malcolm McDowell, CALIGULA
------------------

[url=http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=ctanner5]My DVD collection[/url]

User avatar
Remo D
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2000 10:00 pm
Location: Marina, CA U.S.A.
Contact:

Post by Remo D » Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:25 pm

Darth Tanner wrote:Really that bad, Remo? I was looking forward to this one and was hoping it would deliver with Rodriguez being involved (I was one of the few people on here that actually didn't mind THE FACULTY). I got some "movie cash" towards this when I picked up the new PREDATOR Blu-Ray so at least it wont cost me anything to see it.

I'm glad to hear that MACHETE is finally going to happen and I look forward to checking out that trailer. Hopefully it will kick serious ass and give a much needed career turnaround for a certain starlet who is said to be apprearing in it:) Now if we can just get them to release the theatrical cut of GRINDHOUSE on DVD/Blu-Ray I'd be a happy camper.
Always room for disagreement, Darth! You may very well enjoy it and you wouldn't be the only one...

...yeah, I'll see MACHETE in SPITE of, not BECAUSE of a certain Ms. Alba (who's guaranteed to REDUCE the appeal of the film--probably as yet another stripper who does everything but actually strip)!

Got my GRINDHOUSE off the Japanese DVD, so that's fine by me...
My dog's breath smells like peanut butter...

...and I don't even have a dog!

User avatar
Darth Tanner
Posts: 496
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 1999 10:00 pm
Location: Midlothian, VA U.S.A

Post by Darth Tanner » Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:58 am

Well I did see this for free as promised and don't really have anything different to say from what Remo already stated. I actually found this movie to be somewhat boring and almost nodded off about halfway through it. The effects by KNB were nothing to get excited about either. The best part of the movie was seeing the trailers for MACHETE and THE EXPENDABLES. I'm really excited about THE EXPENDABLES mainly because of the action-star cast and hope it doesn't disappoint. But MACHETE is the one that I really can't wait for. BTW Remo I wasn't referring to Jessica Alba in my above post but Lindsay Lohan. As I said this could be a much-needed turnaround for her and will hopefully do more for her career than I KNOW WHO KILLED ME.

On a side note, it does look the the theatrical version of GRINDHOUSE is slated to come out by the end of the year. I never felt like springing the dough for that expensive Japanese set (especially since I already owned the U.S. releases), so I'm real excited about this coming out.
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the heavens. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and so... I am a God." - Malcolm McDowell, CALIGULA
------------------

[url=http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=ctanner5]My DVD collection[/url]


Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest