Cowardly Central

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:57 pm

Okay--this time I'm drawing the line.

As fate would have it, I missed the extra-controversial SOUTH PARK episode "Trapped in the Closet," which goes off on Tom Cruise and Scientology in reportedly hysterical fashion.

So Tom Cruise throws a hissy fit--keeps the episode from running in the U.K., and then tells Comedy Central that they can't rerun it in the U.S. either, or else he'll pull all of his precious M-I 3 publicity.

And the freshly-renamed Cowardly Central actually CAVES and does what he says.

First up? Somebody out there has a copy of this episode, right? Would you be willing to share it with me? Got no shortage of trade-back material... heck, I can send you the forbidden episode of DEXTER'S LABORATORY if you like. You know--the one with the gay Silver Surfer? The one they pulled because ONE viewer complained?

Back to Tom Cruise. I don't have to argue my anti-censorship credentials with anybody, and I have steadfastly refused to join any entertainment boycotts. But I, myself, am done with HIM.

Doesn't mean I'm going to go back and throw out my copies of THE COLOR OF MONEY, INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE or MAGNOLIA. Doesn't mean I'm going to go back and say that he's a terrible actor. He isn't (and I have no patience for Razzie Awards and the like that single out people like Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton just for being Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton while pretending that they're actually judging movie performances...).

And I'm not going to blast Isaac Hayes. He wants to take his ball and go home, that's his problem. I don't buy the "religious tolerance" line for a minute--seems to me that SOUTH PARK has gone off equally on virtually every religion under the sun, and he only cares when they mess with his precious Scientology. But at least he isn't telling me how to live or what to watch, and if he's in a movie I want to see, I'll still go see it.

But Cruise? Sure, somebody can argue that what he did wasn't censorship. He had a right to withdraw his movie publicity if he wanted. And nobody put a gun to Cowardly Central's head. But we all KNOW that what it comes down to is that since he didn't like it, he wanted to try to make sure that nobody ELSE got to see it, either. And that's censorship in spirit, pretty it up all you like. So to hell with him.

Serious question. Okay--he's a big box-office draw. But is just possible that Hollywood and the rest of the world could get along WITHOUT him? That if we don't have megaton Cruise releases to patronize, that we might find something ELSE to entertain us? That if producers and directors didn't have Tom Cruise to cast in their blockbusters, that perhaps somebody ELSE could do just as good a job? Is the man truly INDISPENSABLE?

Well, I'm about to find out. Screw you, Cruise--you've sold your last ticket to me. Unless you make a movie with Paul Naschy, and THAT'LL be the fucking day.

Thanks for listening--now how 'bout a copy of that show?

AchimbaProphet · Post by **AchimbaProphet** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:07 pm

There is an active torrent available here:
http://www.southparkx.net/episodes/912- ... the-closet

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:24 pm

Thanks much--but I fear I won't be able to handle the download with what I have to work with. Still in the market for a tape!

AchimbaProphet · Post by **AchimbaProphet** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:29 pm

I just downloaded it. I can burn it to a CD and mail it to you I suppose. It is in a XviD AVI format. PM me a mailing address if you want.

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:22 pm

Done and done--super thanks!

So how ABOUT that Tom Cruise, anyway?

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 10:38 pm

WHOA.

Naturally, I had to tune in tonight... first because CC said that they were going to defiantly rerun the Tom Cruise episode anyway. They lied, they caved, what a surprise (if it was even true in the first place).

But did anyone else catch the season premiere? The one where they... er... "dealt with" Isaac Hayes leaving the show?

Hmmm... they didn't mention Scientology by NAME, now did they? And does Isaac Hayes have the clout to get THIS episode pulled?

The jury's still out on CC--I still believe they were utterly cowardly to pull ANY episode based on the demands of ANY star. But it's not the fault of the show or its creators, either. So let's see what happens with THIS one. (But I taped it just in case.)

AchimbaProphet · Post by **AchimbaProphet** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:21 am

This episode was awesome!!!

YouTube · Post by **Chris Slack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:21 am

What a great kickoff for the new season

As far as the censorship of South Park goes in Season 7 (which just came out on DVD) they had an episode called "The Truth About Mormons" which, to the best of my knowledge, only aired that one time. How come that one never got rebroadcast? I never heard anything about that...

Angelica · Post by **Angelica** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:41 am

I want to say that "the Truth About Mormons" was the only time they actually said the name of any religion they were making fun of. I don't remember them actually SAYING "scientology" in the original Tom Cruise episode. They ran that episode for what seemed like a dozen times a week for a very long time. Maybe they just decided to run a different episode for a change.
They equally make fun of everyone. To me, that is true open mindedness.
I missed the season premiere. Damnit. I am sure they will run it again several times this week though.

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:23 pm

Hmmm... if I recall correctly, "All About the Mormons" was rerun without hassle--no problem catching that one... DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM!!!

YouTube · Post by **Chris Slack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:11 pm

Remo D wrote:Hmmm... if I recall correctly, "All About the Mormons" was rerun without hassle--no problem catching that one... DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM!!!

Hmm, my mistake then. I've been Tivo'ing all the reruns on Comedy Central for the past two years and have yet to catch that one again. I found that episode particularly amusing because I was born in Utah and raised as a Mormon for 14 years and almost everything they said about the church in that episode was "the truth" according to what I was taught

shawn porter · Post by **shawn porter** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:22 pm

The War of The Worlds sucked, almost as bad as vanilla sky
but the color of money is a great movie..but......
I could totally live without Cruise, he is pretty annoying,
but is scientology really based on what the south park creators made it out to be based on, cause that was really retarded shit
did anyone see the footage of Cruise being sprayed on the red carpet?
It was rather amusing

Remo D · Post by **Remo D** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:00 pm

Damn, THAT was quick! Thanks, Achimba!

Well, now that I've SEEN the episode? Not quite true that they don't mention the name "Scientology"--they use it blatantly from beginning to end, and when they tell the story of the brainwashed alien souls, the screen is emblazoned throughout with "THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE." And (not to really give anything away), the episode ends with "SUE ME! SUE ME! SUE ME!" Guess they thought that Paramount and Viacom had their back--and they damn well SHOULD have, but...

So now they've renamed the Church of Scientology "The Super Adventure Club" and made L. Ron Hubbard look like Teddy Roosevelt (???). And "THIS IS WHAT THE SUPER ADVENTURE CLUB ACTUALLY BELIEVES!"

Oh, and as far as naming religions? In addition to the (specific) Scientology episode and "All About the Mormons," let's not forget "Red Hot Catholic Love" and "Jewbilee," eh?

Too much, man--too much. Hilarious episode, though. Both of them.

dr coathanger · Post by **dr coathanger** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:32 am

Last night's episode of South Park was the greatest 'write-off' of a well-known character in television history.

gsfnw · Post by **gsfnw** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:55 am

Well, Tom Cruise is a fucking idiot. He's Nicole Kidman's EX - husband. Enough said.

Angelica · Post by **Angelica** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:28 am

Remo D wrote:Damn, THAT was quick! Thanks, Achimba!

Well, now that I've SEEN the episode? Not quite true that they don't mention the name "Scientology"--they use it blatantly from beginning to end, and when they tell the story of the brainwashed alien souls, the screen is emblazoned throughout with "THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE." And (not to really give anything away), the episode ends with "SUE ME! SUE ME! SUE ME!" Guess they thought that Paramount and Viacom had their back--and they damn well SHOULD have, but...

So now they've renamed the Church of Scientology "The Super Adventure Club" and made L. Ron Hubbard look like Teddy Roosevelt (???). And "THIS IS WHAT THE SUPER ADVENTURE CLUB ACTUALLY BELIEVES!"

Oh, and as far as naming religions? In addition to the (specific) Scientology episode and "All About the Mormons," let's not forget "Red Hot Catholic Love" and "Jewbilee," eh?

Too much, man--too much. Hilarious episode, though. Both of them.

I must have seen an edited version. I didn't even know they did that. Maybe I am just crazy and/or have a poor memory.

stypees back · Post by **stypees back** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:58 am

shit i made a double post.....

treasure your farts:metalhead

stypees back · Post by **stypees back** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:58 am

If it were up to me the episode would be on heavy rotation once a month and before every new season begins BUT it's not. I can't say I blame Comedy Central, Paramount has a fairly large stake with them and Cruise is sleeping with all the Paramount executives. Probably the best thing to happen to this series was having an entire episode BAND! by a freak of nature like Tom Cruise because the more people learn of it the more it's going to swim all over the net and bootleg stands across the country. If anything the show will probably gain in strength.

I think people are just watching Cruise now to see if his head explodes. It's likely that MI 3 will do fair at the box office but acting like a total freak-a-zoid and telling people a certain disease doesn't exist, that'll just catch up to you which means Tom will be walking out of the closet anyday now. Not to mention more fun for South Park.

treasure your farts:metalhead

RockMyMonkey · Post by **RockMyMonkey** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 6:52 pm

I am sure that once MI3 hits theaters they will re-run the banned episode. They own both and Tom only has power until the first week or two of the MI3 premier. They are a business and they do what is best for business. For now that means placating the wacko. After MI3 hits theaters it will mean doing a well publicized re-airing of the South Park episode that gave them more press than they have had in years.

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