Balls Out Sex Forever

[Remo D]

...or was that BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER? This is NOT a title that rolls graciously off the tongue, ladies and gentlemen.

Wasn't going to go out of my way for this one, but there it was at a convenient location... and besides, Roger-Dodger gave it only half-a-star. Well, it deserves more than that, but it's still nothing to get that excited about.

The movie is at its best when Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu put on their most imposing scowls and run amuck through constant gunfire, explosions and vehicular destruction. They run in slow motion in front of flaming backgrounds, get flung thirty feet or so through the air, duck slow-motion showers of broken glass, etc. (but never get seriously hurt). And true, they do try to kick the crap out of each other at one point, but who DIDN'T know they were actually going to team up? (The trailer gives away the best "How'd they do THAT" stunt, the best bit involving flying cars, and, of course, the basic ending of the film.) It's all preposterous, but it'll hold your attention... and look out for all the little origami swans to remind you of old-school John Woo, by the way.

Unfortunately, this one hits a brick wall once it decides to slow down and fill you in on how all the characters relate to each other. Once they show up at the aquarium... zzzz... and not even an attempt to kick things up a notch for the final showdown ccan bring it back to speed (the beginning and the middle outstrip this easily).

Ah, I don't know... go if you already had a mind to. The DVD will be more than enough once it comes out.

[Latte Thunder]

a friend of mine manages a local movie theater and last week I watched them argue over which projectionist was going to have to sit through this movie. They did rock paper scissors, best two out of three to decide. It was pretty funny... but they were serious.

did they really do origami swans in the movie? Man... there's nothing worse than an overt "tribute".