The Mothra Prophecies

[Remo D]

...and it dawns on Richard Gere that the prophecy has indeed come true--just not the way he always thought it would be. He is, indeed, Godzilla--and his final, fateful battle with Mothra will take place on this crowded bridge. And all the time, Laura Linney is trying to distract him with hardcore sex acts.

Hmm? What's that? Oh, sorry. Remember the SIMPSONS episode where a brainwashing cult is showing their introductory movie--and Homer liked the car chase, but there wasn't a car chase? "I know," said Homer. "I was bored, so I made up my own movie."

Did I say "bored?" Look--there's slow-moving, there's dull, there's boring, there's excruciating, and there's you-are-dead-and-you-are-in-HELL... and THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES is a tool of torture devised by Satan himself.

His wife crashes the car after seeing a moth-monster vision (or something). She's injured in the wreck but dies of a previously existing brain tumor. And she draws moth-monsters in her diary. And two years later he winds up in West Virginia with no idea how he got there. And strange, mysterious things continue to happen and happen and happen... and they MIGHT have been interesting if you'd never seen an episode of... did you think I was going to say THE X-FILES like everybody else? Well, yes, especially those from the last few years that basically stunk the joint up, but I'm reaching back to THE TWILIGHT ZONE and episodes like "Twenty-Two," which were ALSO supposedly based on true stories. Funny how the same themes keep popping up again and again, no?

Alan Bates is the discredited author who saw it all happen before and is full of reluctance and ominous warnings. Gee, seen this character before, too?

You want something that's really going to intrigue you and make you wonder about the paranormal? Well, if you're heading in this direction, you'd better hope that you've never seen any other movie on the subject before, because that's the only thing that could help with this hair-tearing, self-important pile of (name your favorite animal and its ripest form of discharge here).

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"Nya-nya, nya-nya, nyahh-nyahh... I made you eat your parents!!!" --Cartman

[T.Luster]

Remo- The movie you made up,sounded cool :-)

[Latte Thunder]

I was afraid of this.

I'd read the stories about the original mothman sightings (which are completely bogus and don't have a shred of plausability to begin with) and thought the source material was great even if it did originate in a community where UFOs and Men in Black were as common as vanilla ice cream.

I can't remember the director's name but I really liked his first feature, Arlington Road, so I was hoping he'd turn out the same quality. But Richard Gere? Why the hell would anyone in their right mind cast that guy?

I'm heading out to see this movie tonight. I made plans with my brother to see it, so I can't really back out because I heard it sucked a wang.

[Latte Thunder]

Okay, so I saw this last night.

Didn't think it was as bad as Remo did, but it certainly was boring. It had the potential to be really, really cool. A lot of the bizarre shots were really quite terrifying but without a decent story behind it and some competent acting, it really fell flat.

Someone has to tell these music video directors that filling a 4 minute music video with odd framing and weird lighting is fine, but if you're going to do it with a feature you've got to at least have some semblance a plot to keep things moving. Fincher made the transition just fine but between this Mothman director and that Tarsem character who did The Cell (who also admits on the DVD commentary that he didn't care what the movie was about as long as he could make something that looked cool) really need to get on the ball.