See no evil
Moderator: Chris Slack
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dr coathanger
- Posts: 1069
- Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 4:00 pm
See no evil
The first movie from WWE films(!) is a slasher flick starring WWE wrestler Kane(!!). Sounds like a cheese-tastic piece of shit...I'm so there!
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Miseries_Lover
- Posts: 1005
- Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:40 pm
- Location: in a hicktown called Duvall
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Okay--do any of you read the Sunday funnies? Check out CURTIS for 5/21. If you've seen SEE NO EVIL, you can't BUY that sort of coincidence.
Well... this is EXACTLY what I would expect from a hardcore porn director making a gore film.
Now, it had every chance in the world--all the essential ingredients were practically handed to Gregory Dark on a silver platter. He got a terrific, creepy set--filth and vermin bursting from every seam, more choking atmosphere than you'd think possible. It could have been every bit as stifling as similar environments in SE7EN and SAW. And he was given Glen "Kane" Jacobs. Say what you will about pro wrestling (of which I'm an unashamed fan), but Jacobs has been playing the horror villain in the ring for quite some time--both with and without a mask, and he's more than up to it. He could be one of the most legitimately frightening apparitions a shocker could ask for.
Script? Hmmm... well, you could spent LOTS of time introducing the teen cannon fodder even when nobody really cares (HOUSE OF WAX remake), or you could simply flash their names and offenses on the screen really quickly as they assemble. Yep--the script was something to just get out of the way. So you have your cast of misfits under custody and you have a pro wrestler turned actor. So what do we do with them? Well, we could have The Rock organize them into an inspirational football team (just caught the trailer for GRIDIRON GANG, based on a true story, of course, so who the hell says that just HORROR films are generic?), or we could have Kane kill them.
Gore? Super mucho nasty--this is yet another contender for ultimate "grossout" film of the year.
So what's the problem?
The problem is that Gregory Dark can't stage a shock moment to save his life. I'm sure he imagined the audience collectively jumping and screaming at many different points during the film. But he just can't give the scenes the spark they need. Every disturbing discovery, every "sudden" appearance of Kane? Mile away, friends... mile away. There is NO suspense and there are NO scares. So true to hardcore porn style, we (figuratively speaking, of course), take constant "face shots" of oozing body parts and fluids. Can't make the audience jump? Well, make them cringe, and that's just as good for some people.
A truly gifted director could have taken the same sets, the same cast and the same script and made a powerhouse out of this, no matter how generic. As it is, we can "enjoy" the ride for a while and appreciate what DOES work (and that's mainly Kane--my favorite scene involves a firehose and his discovery of how to make it work as a new "toy"). But when you think about what this COULD have been? This one rates the heaviest of sighs.
Give Kane another chance with a seasoned HORROR director and THEN see what happens.
Well... this is EXACTLY what I would expect from a hardcore porn director making a gore film.
Now, it had every chance in the world--all the essential ingredients were practically handed to Gregory Dark on a silver platter. He got a terrific, creepy set--filth and vermin bursting from every seam, more choking atmosphere than you'd think possible. It could have been every bit as stifling as similar environments in SE7EN and SAW. And he was given Glen "Kane" Jacobs. Say what you will about pro wrestling (of which I'm an unashamed fan), but Jacobs has been playing the horror villain in the ring for quite some time--both with and without a mask, and he's more than up to it. He could be one of the most legitimately frightening apparitions a shocker could ask for.
Script? Hmmm... well, you could spent LOTS of time introducing the teen cannon fodder even when nobody really cares (HOUSE OF WAX remake), or you could simply flash their names and offenses on the screen really quickly as they assemble. Yep--the script was something to just get out of the way. So you have your cast of misfits under custody and you have a pro wrestler turned actor. So what do we do with them? Well, we could have The Rock organize them into an inspirational football team (just caught the trailer for GRIDIRON GANG, based on a true story, of course, so who the hell says that just HORROR films are generic?), or we could have Kane kill them.
Gore? Super mucho nasty--this is yet another contender for ultimate "grossout" film of the year.
So what's the problem?
The problem is that Gregory Dark can't stage a shock moment to save his life. I'm sure he imagined the audience collectively jumping and screaming at many different points during the film. But he just can't give the scenes the spark they need. Every disturbing discovery, every "sudden" appearance of Kane? Mile away, friends... mile away. There is NO suspense and there are NO scares. So true to hardcore porn style, we (figuratively speaking, of course), take constant "face shots" of oozing body parts and fluids. Can't make the audience jump? Well, make them cringe, and that's just as good for some people.
A truly gifted director could have taken the same sets, the same cast and the same script and made a powerhouse out of this, no matter how generic. As it is, we can "enjoy" the ride for a while and appreciate what DOES work (and that's mainly Kane--my favorite scene involves a firehose and his discovery of how to make it work as a new "toy"). But when you think about what this COULD have been? This one rates the heaviest of sighs.
Give Kane another chance with a seasoned HORROR director and THEN see what happens.
My dog's breath smells like peanut butter...
...and I don't even have a dog!
...and I don't even have a dog!
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steven_millan
- Member
- Posts: 122
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 8:06 pm
- Location: Las Vegas,NV
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dr coathanger wrote:The first movie from WWE films(!) is a slasher flick starring WWE wrestler Kane(!!). Sounds like a cheese-tastic piece of shit...I'm so there!
And cheese-tastic it was,for even if it wasn't much of a movie,it was still fun(at least at the downtown theater I saw it at,where the heavily ethnic audience talked through the film as if they were a 42nd. Street audience,for they would have provided a heavily entertaining commentary for a DVD).
BTW:when the trailer for "The Descent" played,the entire audience loudly cheered (by the trailer's end) and several of them said,"I wanna see this movie!!!!" .
Did everyone stay for the end of the first part of the credits?steven_millan wrote:And cheese-tastic it was,for even if it wasn't much of a movie,it was still fun(at least at the downtown theater I saw it at,where the heavily ethnic audience talked through the film as if they were a 42nd. Street audience,for they would have provided a heavily entertaining commentary for a DVD).
BTW:when the trailer for "The Descent" played,the entire audience loudly cheered (by the trailer's end) and several of them said,"I wanna see this movie!!!!" .
As for the trailer for Descent... happy to see it (as it ROCKS) sad to hear that the ending is going to be different...
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