Pink Panther 2

[Remo D]

Look, I'll catch up with the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake tomorrow. I know, I know, YESTERDAY was Friday the 13th, TODAY is Valentine's Day, but THAT's what my wife wants to see for Valentine's and we can't make it work today, so we're doing it tomorrow.

Besides, I've been writing reviews for SCREEM all week and only now can I catch up on the movie I took my son to see LAST week.

It was a family tradition to see PINK PANTHER movies on the big screen... ever since RETURNS came out, we would look greatly forward to our parents taking us to see the further adventures of Jacques Clouseau. I think STRIKES AGAIN had to be the funniest one in the entire series--I don't recall anything besides YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN that had the family in such constant, hysterical stitches. REVENGE? Well, okay, but not quite up to snuff. By the time TRAIL came out, I was old enough to take my then-girlfriend (yes, we actually DID watch the movie, though it meant precious little to her as she hadn't seen any of the others). CURSE I caught on my own during a break from a dog-sitting jaunt... and SON never played anywhere near me (though I do have the DVD, I must confess).

I never did get to take my daughter to see Clouseau on the big screen, but she and I went through EVERY Clouseau film on DVD in my attempt to fill in a gap. What SHE looked forward to the most--when it came to movies and when she was my age when I first saw Clouseau movies--was seeing Jackie Chan on the big screen. So that helped.

You'll recall that I approached the first Steve Martin PINK PANTHER with trepidation... I knew it wouldn't be a Peter Sellers movie any more than those last few were, but there was just SOMETHING about watching those animated credits and surrendering myself to some good old-fashioned slapstick. And whaddya know--I ended up liking it, despite all the critics who told me that I shouldn't have.

Now, I've finally "properly" upheld family tradition--I've taken my son to see Inspector Clouseau on the big screen. Yeah, we could have seen CORALINE (and probably should), but he wanted PINK PANTHER 2--no two ways about it.

Well, critics are once again lining up to attack Steve Martin for not being Peter Sellers, and the audience turnout isn't anything like it was the first time around, but I once again insist that a movie like this is NOT worth your venom. It's cute, it's funny, it's inoffensive (although some of the best jokes come with Clouseau's utter non-comprehension of political correctness: "I imagine you'll want sushi, my little yellow friend!"), and my son laughed his head off. Case closed.

Okay, I can dig a little deeper. Yes, the supporting cast is capacity-crammed and competing for attention, but John Cleese, Alfred Molina and Andy Garcia all get some great bits in. You already know you can count on Jean Reno and Emily Mortimer. I did NOT know that JEREMY IRONS was going to turn up in this thing, either. There are "okay" slapstick bits, and there are a couple of truly great ones--the best involves the "Dream Team" attempting to block Irons' view of his security monitors as we witness the tiny, black and white bumblings of Clouseau as he blunders from camera to camera. Now THIS was worthy of Blake Edwards AND Peter Sellers--you watch and tell me otherwise. But Steve Martin is NOT Peter Sellers... and MY point is that he doesn't PRETEND to be. Some will tell you that while James Bond can be played by a variety of actors, the role of Jacques Clouseau is exclusive and untouchable.

I won't argue with you if you agree with that point. But I will ask you one question: exactly WHY?