Ophidian's Road Trip to Oakland lat weekend....

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Ophidian's Road Trip to Oakland lat weekend....

Post by ophidian » Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:32 pm

I was hoping dying to see (Andy) would have made it as my Chewbacca co-piloting my Wrangler SE off road assault vehicle on the 14.5 hour epic journey last Saturday but he had some gay-ass family event he needed to be at Sunday night so I launched the expedition solo at 9am on Saturday morning.

My pilgrimage was to a vertical wind tunnel (one of only six in the country) to practice my death defying moves in the safety of a wind tunnel before taking them back to the sky summer 09.

Rolled into Oakland/Union City close to midnight with the top down, looking very white and realized that it was not a good area. Found an In And Out Burger and checked into the Holiday Inn Express, took a shower and found a bar across the street. My over inflated ego took over a table of San Fran
8.5s in no time with an onslaught of skydivng and rock climbing stories that got one of them wet, and she was fascinated I drove all the way down to unlease my made skills in a vertical wind tunnel. She had to mention she had a boyfriend, but after seeing my Washington plates, she enacted a 500 mile rule and realized I wasn't from around there and we wound up back at my room and fucked for over four hours before waking up for round two. I'm not sure when exactly it occurred but right around 5am when I was thrashing her clit with my toungue and she dug her nails into the back of my head while arching her back and having her fourth orgasm - I realized...........I really do rock!

Made it over to the vertical wind tunnel that morning and got ready for some serious Ophidian induced madness and executed all my precision moves withing the time I had reserved, waiting for my video to get edited and got back to the hotel for a few laps in the pool. My bitch called a few hours later and said that she had been "having sex" and "making love" with her boyfriend in their relationship but she actually got "fucked" last night and wanted to do it again. Willing to take her clit to the next level of orgasmic evolution, the one and only Ophidian had to get it back on again.

And as is my M.O., I had to leave by the following afternoon after firing off another round and saying our goodbyes.

I had some businesss to take care of in the Bay area on the way back and when I was done I had no time whatsover to wait at a toll line on the Oakland Bay Bridge and challenging fate and destiny after seeing a sign over the bus/transit lane that said maximum fine $1000 imposed for use of bus lane, I shot through it going 75mph and made it through without any blue and red lights coming in behind me. Cameras? yeah, I know they only use them on the Fastrak/carpool lanes. Bus/transit violations have to be by cops pulling you over. Once again, I rock!

It was early evening by then and it was becoming obvious that I would be covering alot of ground in the dead of night - Ophidian style and blew over the mountains by midnight, with Dream Theater's Images and Words carrying me well into sunrise a few hours later. It was somewhere along that journey that I lost myself and in the process found myself again. Almost falling asleep Tuesday morning coming in Oregon, I needed a shot of pheremones again to get my mind working and I grabbed the hot SF 8.5's Brazillian cut, lace panties I had in my back pack and had to smell them again - sure the family of four alongside me looked over in horror as I drove past them but its all par for the course on a road trip.

I made it back that night to Petsmart's Hotel/Boarding in Tukwila to grab my dog and go over his "Pawgress Report" with one of the chicks that monitored his crazy nonsense in daycare and his boarding unit and got home in time to hit the Pickled Onion in the Renton Highlands for some Wild Turkey and Heineken.

Over 1,600 miles
14 Red Bull
3 Cans of Skoal Vanilla Blend
98 gallons of fuel
5 In And Out Burgers
40 minutes in a vertical wind tunnel
6 condoms and

1 Ophidian on a mission later.....................he has returned triumphant under blood red skies.


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Post by Evil Red » Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:59 pm

I should have bet you money, Live Fo. Told ya so.
I made the Devil do it.

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Post by AchimbaProphet » Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:38 pm

I know who writes all of those Dear Hustler letters now.
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Post by LIVE FO RETSINIM » Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:08 am

hahahaha. Nice try.
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Post by -deathboy- » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:02 am

so i guess he's still alive...
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Post by Project Undead Vish » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:09 am

What?!?! No back part action?!?!
Hate the religion and pity the believer.
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Post by Blake NWR » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:55 am

And no armchair psychology?! Seriously, what kind of locker room tale is this?
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Post by MetalGoddess » Mon Jul 20, 2009 10:06 am

:rolleyes:
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Post by ophidian » Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:41 pm

Blake NWR wrote:And no armchair psychology?! Seriously, what kind of locker room tale is this?
Armchair psychology............

I'm currently banging a chick up here that has serious daddy issues, control issues, etc etc. She only gets off harder and longer when she feels like she is being forced to have sex - it gets really weird. The first time it ever happened, I woke up at 4am and needed to bang her again and she started pushing me off her and kept saying "no" so I stopped and tried to go back to sleep and she got pissed off and asked what I was doing and told me to keep trying to F her - so I did, but she actually started fighting me off and saying "no" and "stop" - it got really wack for a while - but she was into it and while I was drilling away and had my hand on her chest she moved it up towards her neck and wrapped it around and I kept moving it away and she said "choke me" so at that point it was totally on and the more she tried to push me off her and resist the harder and longer she got off - it was really weird. We were in Vegas a week later and I took off a little after 11 that night and she called my cell and told me to do the same thing when I got back but "break in" to the room and simulate rape her as if I was an intruder - that was insane, I had scratches on my neck and arms and she was totally in character that night as a victim.

It's weird because her dad is psychologically and emotionally incestual with her - to the point where she reverts to the level of a 12 year old when she is around him (she's 30 right now) and she acts like a little girl and almost asexual around him. Then the lights go out and she wants to F like a porn star for hours at a time, get raped and get drilled in her colon. I learned early on with this siutation that ATM is not just a cash machine anymore.

Ophidian

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Post by Jonathan » Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:09 pm

This thread is useless without pics.
Take a picture, trick. I'm on a boat, bitch.

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Post by Project Undead Vish » Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:22 pm

I say you find another guy and give her some double anal.
Hate the religion and pity the believer.
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Post by derek666 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:38 pm

Project Undead Vish wrote:I say you find another guy and give her some double anal.
:cheers:

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Post by -deathboy- » Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:04 pm

Project Undead Vish wrote:I say you find another guy and give her some double anal.
Jonathan wrote:This thread is useless without pics.
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Post by ophidian » Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:54 pm

Project Undead Vish wrote:I say you find another guy and give her some double anal.
Already have another "guy" involved. She calls it "buzzer guy" - it's a vibe unit that buzzes and has different settings, etc and she makes me use it when she wants to simulate a three-way. She will ask me to let my friend fuck her too - so I have to grab buzzer guy and I usually slam it into her colon while I'm drilling away (kind of like double penetration in porn) and she totally gets into it. I would never be into actually having another guy involved - thats just ridiculous, I don't need some dudes balls slapping against mine while we both bang a chick. I've never had a three way with two chicks either - just a 2.25 way when I was banging a chick that had a girlfriend and we got in late and they both fell asleep in my bed and when I woke up I banged her and her girlfriend woke up and was getting herself off and making out with the chick I was banging - so I think that qualifies as a 2.25 way rather than a full three way.


Ophidian

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Post by Project Undead Vish » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:30 pm

Bullshit. You sir are a pansy.
Hate the religion and pity the believer.
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Post by LIVE FO RETSINIM » Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:36 am

ophidian wrote:Armchair psychology............

I'm currently banging a chick up here that has serious daddy issues, control issues, etc etc. She only gets off harder and longer when she feels like she is being forced to have sex - it gets really weird. The first time it ever happened, I woke up at 4am and needed to bang her again and she started pushing me off her and kept saying "no" so I stopped and tried to go back to sleep and she got pissed off and asked what I was doing and told me to keep trying to F her - so I did, but she actually started fighting me off and saying "no" and "stop" - it got really wack for a while - but she was into it and while I was drilling away and had my hand on her chest she moved it up towards her neck and wrapped it around and I kept moving it away and she said "choke me" so at that point it was totally on and the more she tried to push me off her and resist the harder and longer she got off - it was really weird. We were in Vegas a week later and I took off a little after 11 that night and she called my cell and told me to do the same thing when I got back but "break in" to the room and simulate rape her as if I was an intruder - that was insane, I had scratches on my neck and arms and she was totally in character that night as a victim.

It's weird because her dad is psychologically and emotionally incestual with her - to the point where she reverts to the level of a 12 year old when she is around him (she's 30 right now) and she acts like a little girl and almost asexual around him. Then the lights go out and she wants to F like a porn star for hours at a time, get raped and get drilled in her colon. I learned early on with this siutation that ATM is not just a cash machine anymore.

Ophidian
so you have playboy radio too huh?


What is the armchair psychology of trying to fuck with the best? You try and pull one over on someone who out does you on every level. Tsk Tsk. I STILL don't understand why you tried to fuck with me. Oh well. I thought we had each other's back, but dat's coo.... Carry on with whatever this one is about.
[b]R.I.P. Chelsie[/b]

[b]JJGC [/b] [SIZE="6"]4[/SIZE] [b]LIFE[/b]

Hard work never killed nobody, but I ain't taking no chances.



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Post by Project Undead Vish » Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:34 am

4 letters: DVDA.
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Post by ophidian » Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:35 am

LIVE FO RETSINIM wrote:so you have playboy radio too huh?


What is the armchair psychology of trying to fuck with the best? You try and pull one over on someone who out does you on every level. Tsk Tsk. I STILL don't understand why you tried to fuck with me. Oh well. I thought we had each other's back, but dat's coo.... Carry on with whatever this one is about.
Dudeness - I made it back from Texas OK last month. I figured you would know that I rock too hard to have gone out like that.

check your pm


Oph

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Post by LIVE FO RETSINIM » Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:39 am

ophidian wrote:
check your pm


Oph
same ones there.
[b]R.I.P. Chelsie[/b]

[b]JJGC [/b] [SIZE="6"]4[/SIZE] [b]LIFE[/b]

Hard work never killed nobody, but I ain't taking no chances.



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Post by Shpongled » Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:45 pm

How ironic that every time I've run into Mr. Ophidian in the flesh, he's the quiet, shy, awkward guy that lurks in the corners all by himself, looking sad and bummed out, just waiting/hoping to be accepted by anyone willing to give him the time of day.

LOL @ this thread.
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Post by skipp666 » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:53 pm

BWHAHAHA!!! :metalhead
Shpongled wrote:How ironic that every time I've run into Mr. Ophidian in the flesh, he's the quiet, shy, awkward guy that lurks in the corners all by himself, looking sad and bummed out, just waiting/hoping to be accepted by anyone willing to give him the time of day.

LOL @ this thread.
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Originally Posted by Shitcock Jr
Skipp and the Spice 5[the first pressing of "Douche, the cleaner of the beast" gets my fist in the air everytime!!!].

WWMKD?

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RIP Mr. Reed :whine:

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Post by ophidian » Thu Jul 23, 2009 6:32 pm

Shpongled wrote:How ironic that every time I've run into Mr. Ophidian in the flesh, he's the quiet, shy, awkward guy that lurks in the corners all by himself, looking sad and bummed out, just waiting/hoping to be accepted by anyone willing to give him the time of day.

LOL @ this thread.
Whatever - you obviously were not at Kamelot last October at El Corazon. I grabbed Khan's mic during the third song and taunted him with it before giving it back - pulled the bass player in over the crowd and fought off a 300lb silver back gorilla that dragged me out of the club and wouldn't let me back in.

Anyone on here can ask Andy (dying to see) how I fuckin roll - he has witnessed me unless live doses of karaoke in the Highlands at the Pickled Onion on Wednesday nights, and he made a near fatal trip out to the Yella Beak in Enumclaw where we got annihilated after taking my Wrangler over the bridge in Black Diamond that was closed due to flooding going 70mph.

Ask the guys from Heir Apparent who had things totally rockin when I was on tour with them in Europe - strip bars in Athens, kickin ass in Dittigheim etc

I rock harder than any son of a bitch in the forum.............

Word!


Ophidian

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Post by skipp666 » Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:18 pm

Damn!
You are a badass! :metalhead
ophidian wrote:Whatever - you obviously were not at Kamelot last October at El Corazon. I grabbed Khan's mic during the third song and taunted it with him before giving it back - pulled the bass player in over the crowd and fought off a 300lb silver back gorilla that dragged me out of the club and wouldn't let me back in.

Anyone on here can ask Andy (dying to see) how I fuckin roll - he has witnessed me unless live doses of karaoke in the Highlands at the Pickled Onion on Wednesday nights, and he made a near fatal trip out to the Yella Beak in Enumclaw where we got annihilated after taking my Wrangler over the bridge in Black Diamond that was closed due to flooding going 70mph.

Ask the guys from Heir Apparent who had things totally rockin when I was on tour with them in Europe - strip bars in Athens, kickin ass in Dittigheim etc

I rock harder than any son of a bitch in the forum.............

Word!


Ophidian
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Originally Posted by Shitcock Jr
Skipp and the Spice 5[the first pressing of "Douche, the cleaner of the beast" gets my fist in the air everytime!!!].

WWMKD?

[SIZE="1"]"Fatwa has been declared on my ass by the Joanothin. AKA Hippie Gnome."
- Skipp666 (Oct. 5th, 2007)[/SIZE]

RIP Mr. Reed :whine:

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Post by ophidian » Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:27 pm

skipp666 wrote:Damn!
You are a badass! :metalhead
I forgot to mention............I'm really into the Spice Girls too!!!!!!!!


:headshot:

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Post by Evil Red » Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:12 pm

ophidian wrote:
I rock harder than any son of a bitch in the forum.............
A bit camera shy though... heh.
I made the Devil do it.


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