The Tuxedo Transporter

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Remo D
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The Tuxedo Transporter

Post by Remo D » Fri Oct 11, 2002 7:26 pm

A couple of pleasant time-passers...

THE TUXEDO was better than I thought it would be--I was as worried as anyone about Jackie Chan resorting to computer/wire stunts as opposed to the straight comedy/drama he really wants to do--but you've got to hand it to him. He himself is as fun to watch as ever, the effects aren't limited to the "tuxedo" stunts (there were a couple of good grossouts, too, as people drink contaminated water and graphically dehydrate on camera)--and as for JLH? Well... if I hadn't had the baggage of the SUMMER films and her "Julia Roberts is so awesome" crap during the Oscar debacle, I certainly wouldn't have had a problem with the lead actress in this film. We all know better than to expect a "Jackie Chan classic," but if you just relax and enjoy the ride, there's still good fun to be had here.

As for THE TRANSPORTER? Now this one I think you'd especially want to check out. The script is hokey and out-to-lunch, but there's plenty of imaginative action all over the place. Funny--that's almost exactly what I said about BALLS OUT SEX FOREVER (or whatever the hell that thing was called)--but the difference here is that TRANSPORTER doesn't hit a dead patch in the middle and refuse to come back on line.

The previews didn't give everything away, either (the "doorbell" highlight happens fairly early on, and the bit in which our hero deflects a missile with a serving tray didn't even make the final cut). The opening chase scene offers one of the ultimate ("Oh, yeah, RIGHT!!!") moments of all time, but you'll be having too much fun with it to care.

Apparently, looking at KISS OF THE DRAGON and now this, it seems that Luc Besson is happier today as a producer than as a director. He still contributes to the script (I sure hope he didn't supply the variant on "it's quiet... too quiet" and other groaners, but you just know that the underwater sequence was his idea, after THE BIG BLUE and ATLANTIS), but I'd still like to see him direct again. THE TRANSPORTER doesn't quite carry the same effect as either LA FEMME NIKITA or THE PROFESSIONAL (both of which are apparently well-known enough today to be hyped in the ad campaign), and that's because it's completely, openly superficial. And yet it's effortlessly enjoyable for all that.

What we really need is for a drive-in to put both of these on a double bill. But no--it's SWEET WHORE ALABAMA sharing space with Jackie Chan on the marquee...
My dog's breath smells like peanut butter...

...and I don't even have a dog!


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