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LADY TERMINATOR 1988
Directed by Jalil Jackson
Cast - Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J. Hart, Joseph P. McGlynn, Claudia
Angelique Rademaker, Adam Stardust, Ikang Fawzi
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One hundred years ago, the evil South Sea Queen finally meets her match
in a man that can sexually satisfy her (any relation to Ilsa the She Wolf?)
Just having finished making love, this guy reaches into her privates and pulls
out this eel, which then turns into a magical dagger. The evil queen puts on
curse on this guy's great granddaughter, and vows to have her revenge in one
hundred years. Now at the present, the granddaughter decides to go deep sea
diving for some clues about this legendary evil queen, and for her troubles
winds up with an eel in her privates. Now possessed by this ancient sorceress,
she rises out of the ocean nude, seduces a few guys and castrates them during
sex (remember where that eel is). Minutes later she's strutting around in black
leather and carrying and automatic weapon. This sets the stage for the rest
of the film, as this femme fatale walks around blasting the hell out of anyone
whenever she feels like it. Bullets cannot stop her, because she has supernatural
powers. (?)
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This action packed Filipino cheesefest is an enjoyable "bad" film, that
rips off The Terminator, in no less than five different scenes. In fact, the
shoot out at the bar, includes the line "Come with me if you want to live".
In one scene our femme fatale finally sustains some damage after a few thousand
bullets, and decides to cut out her eyeball in the bathroom. Get this, upon
careful inspection, she decides the eyeball is fine and puts the damn thing
back in like nothing ever happened! At the climax of the film, and after a few
thousand more bullets and a few explosions, it takes it's toll on her. She shambles
out from the exploding gas tanker, and now becomes a crusty faced zombie that
shoots lasers out of it's eyes! Unbelievable. This is a fun film, with tons
of violence, a fair amount of gore, and a few bits of nudity. Highly recommended
for folks who want to see a wild ripoff of The Terminator.
-T. Luster